During the two years that I was studying for my masters degree, I would meet two of my closest friends every Sunday morning at a local coffee shop. We’d spend an hour chatting, venting, gossiping, and catching up on our lives (or lack thereof) over bagels and coffee, before the conversations would inevitably tangent off onto random topics. I miss those chats – and the insights into my friends I’d gain through them. So I thought I’d try to restart something along those lines on my blog. A chance to hear more from my readers… at first, I was trying to decide if I wanted something consistent: quotes/sayings, song lyrics, random current or pop culture events…. But I think it will be more fun, more free to mix it up. Just whatever I’m dwelling on at the moment. Hope you all have as much fun with it as I do.
(image from Tumblr.com)
I wish I could remember where I came across this picture the first time. I saw it somewhere approximately a week ago and over the course of the week it got under my skin. It’s become my theme of the moment, a thought that gets me through the day.
There are things that I can’t change. I can’t change my diagnosis. I can’t change its symptoms or the side effects of its treatments. When I say side effects, I mean all the side effects not just the medical side effects like weight gain. I mean the life side effects too. The results of hours and hours spent in bed: the effects on my grades and my relationships. Hobbies I can no longer really engage in. Experiences I don’t know if/when I’ll ever be able to enjoy again – hikes and so on.
I realized that if I spend all my time wishing things were different, I’d never really be happy. There are a million things that I wish I could change but can’t. Of course, this shift in mindset doesn’t change in a day. So I set the picture on my desktop and phone backgrounds as a constant reminder.
On the flip side, is choosing to just accept these symptoms akin to giving up on fighting them? Maybe railing against the disease’s suppressive effects is a psychological boost that helps my body fight this monstrosity. (see related post)
Thoughts are that I have the same damn thought every single day :(
ReplyDeleteMy fibromyalgia (although I think it is something more complex...) is getting progressively worse too. Most of my meds have stopped working.
It's too bad we all live around the globe or I would recommend we all line up our beds and watch movies :)
I think that continuing to fight can give us a psychological boost, but only to a certain extent. After a certain point, it can become depressing to fight and fight and fight, but not see the results you hope for.
ReplyDeleteI've chosen to accept certain parts of having lupus (there will be good times and there will also be bad times), but I also choose to fight against other parts (I will continue to strive to do the outdoor/physical activities that I always loved to do, even though they are extremely difficult). This keeps my mind relatively balanced.
Relatively being the key word...