go for the threading, stay for the insults?

So I went to the salon yesterday. I wanted to get my eyebrows threaded. No big deal. <15 minutes in and out. I was excited. It was the first day in over a month that I had the energy – and the time – to go take care of it. I may not be able to control the weight gain, but at least I can keep up with these little things that keep me from feeling completely un-presentable. I know, I know, I need to get over the weight issues. I’m working on it, I promise.

The salonist (?), however, felt a need to comment not only on the fact that I’d let my eyebrows get unruly, but also on the fact that I should really be taking care of myself better, “[I mean] look how much weight you’ve gained. A girl your age shouldn’t be your size. You need a good figure to get around in this world […(I tuned her out here as I tried to count backwards from 10)].”

Counting backwards from 10 didn’t work. I was livid. I couldn’t figure out if I should cry or scream at her. Had I a more violent disposition, I probably would have been inclined to slap her. It was just so RUDE! I was well aware of how my eyebrows looked, and that comment was directly related to why I was there. To her, I’m sure it seemed like I couldn’t take a quick 15 minute trip, so OK, fine, make a comment. After all, her money comes from how often people visit right?

Still, there was really no excuse for the weight comment. It was not directly related to any services they provide. Moreover, it was unnecessary. I didn’t come in for a weight consult or a beauty consult of any kind. It’s not like I don’t know that I’ve gained weight, or how our society views fit people versus out-of-shape people, after all. I realize that perhaps it’s my own fault for thinking I could separate the concept of vain beauty in terms of things like eyebrows from body image issues … but she could have kept her opinion to herself, right?

Finally, I let loose with a (tone-controlled) ear-lashing. I informed her in no unclear words that I am, in fact, quite ill and I come here as often as I can work up the energy to do so, but frankly my health is more important than my eyebrows. I told her that she should try being so ill that she can’t get out of bed some days, then add on a boatload of meds that all cause her to gain weight and see how what kind of shape she’s in. She looked confused, but apologized profusely.

I left the salon with the realization that while I could elicit an apology, and, perhaps, some more polite behaviour in the future, I couldn’t really make her understand why I was so upset because it was so far outside the realm of her own experiences. On the other hand, would it have been better to leave well enough alone and just assume she wouldn’t get it anyway? 

“Home Sick” is NOT the Same As “Vacation Day” !!!! (gack.)

So it’s spring break week. The entire point of spring break is to go out and have fun and relax right? Not for me. I get to spend my spring break making up all the exams that I missed. It sucks. I mean, what could I possibly need more than a week of rest and recuperation? (Well, other than a cure, of course.) Still, it makes sense to take them spread out over this break, since this way I can focus on just one exam at a time instead of trying to review the material for the makeup exam and learn the new information for the next one at the same time…

I’ve been working hard to try and keep people’s insensitive comments from getting to me. I really have. Sometimes I just can’t manage it though. This is a chat convo with a classmate from earlier today. The only thing I edited was to take out the names:

Classmate: hey! hows your break going?

Me: not too bad. trying to catch up on sleep – and exams i missed… hows yours been?

Classmate: ohhh, youre making up exams?

Me: yeah. missed a few when i was out sick, so im taking them over break. kinda sucks to be studying over break, but oh well…

Classmate: but you already got the days off that you were sick! so those were vacation days and these are class days! LOL!

Me: ummm, actually, i was home *sick* so those weren’t vacation days

Classmate: but vacation is for sleeping. and you slept on days you were home sick right? so that’s vacation.

Me: so you would say sleeping in on spring break day is the same as being sick with the flu?

Classmate: well, no, not for ME.. but you spend so many days in bed it’s the same thing right?

At that point I sent my classmate the link to the Spoon Theory, and said that I hoped it would help explain better. Who knows if my classmate will read it, but hey it was worth a try.  I feel like it was kind of a cop out versus explaining, but I was seeing red rage and I didn’t want to say something offensive that I’d regret. I guess maybe ill try to follow up on it again after break and try to explain myself. It’s hard enough to miss class without people thinking that I’m not here because I’m on vacation…